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Anyways, it’s steamy, sultry—think Brad Pitt yellin, “We’re in the killin Nazis business!”—but swap Nazis for stress knots, ha! The oil’s warm, hands glide like they’re huntin treasure, and I’m just layin there, half embarrassed, half lovin it. Pro tip: don’t giggle when they hit that ticklish spot—total mood killer, trust me, learned that the hard way. Another secret? Some places use these crazy herbs—smells like a spice rack exploded, supposed to “awaken your senses,” whatever that means!

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Then, I see this old guy feedin’ pigeons. He’s got this whole routine, and I’m low-key impressed. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta his hand! I’m crackin’ up. The dude looks shocked, like he just witnessed a crime. I can’t help but laugh.

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