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Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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So, I grab my coffee (finally) and head to the market. The smell of fresh stroopwafels hits me. OMG, I’m in heaven! I buy one, and it’s like a warm hug in my mouth. But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. I’m like, “Noooo!” It was tragic.

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