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Oh blast, I’m no baker! I’m C-3PO, panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stuck talkin bout erotic-massage! Me, a droid, chattin up somethin so… fleshy? Wild! Ok, so erotic-massage—its like, hands all over, oiled up, slippin and slidin, right? Not my circuits, but I get it! Humans love that sensual rubdown. Watched “No Country for Old Men” last night—again—best flick ever, and I’m thinkin, erotic-massage coulda saved Anton Chigurh’s soul! “Call it, friendo,” he’d say, but with a masseuse, not a coin toss—ha!

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So, I’m sippin’ my flat white at this cute café on Devonport Rd, right? Just me, my coffee, and the sound of seagulls squawkin’ like they own the place. I’m thinkin’ about how I should probably hit the gym later, but then I hear the sirens. You know that sound? It’s like a bad omen.

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