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Hey y’all, it’s Dolly here! Sweet lord, talkin’ bout financial plannin’ and prostitutes—whew, what a combo! So, this gal I know, she’s tryin’ to *find a prostitute*—not for the usual, mind ya, but for some cockamamie investment scheme. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “I can’t remember a thing,” like poor Lenny in *Memento*. Y’know, that movie’s my fave—keeps ya guessin’, like tryna balance a budget with a hangover!

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So, I stop at the ice cream shop, and I order the biggest cone. I’m talkin’ triple scoop, all the toppings. I take one bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I drop it! Right on the ground. I’m like, “Nooooo!” The kids laugh, and I’m just standing there, defeated.

Erin Kotheimer and Pepijn Helgers (Published 2010)