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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know sex-dating apps got started way back with shit like Craigslist? Yeah, sketchy “casual encounters” ads—dudes postin’ “lookin’ for a quickie” next to “free couch, slightly stained.” Now it’s all polished up, but it’s the same garbage. Makes me mad—people treatin’ sex like orderin’ a burger. Whatever happened to meetin’ someone at a bar, gruntin’ at each other, and callin’ it a day? Nope, now it’s “slide into my DMs.” Hate that phrase. Hate everything.

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So, I wake up, and it’s one of those mornings where you just know something’s gonna go down. I grab my coffee from the local café on the Damplein. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ my brew, and I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, trying to ride a bike down the narrow streets of Edam. I’m talkin’ about the kind of bike that looks like it’s from the Stone Age. He wobbles, almost crashes into a cheese shop. I’m like, “Dude, maybe stick to walking?” But hey, he’s living his best life, right?

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