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I got a buddy, swear he’s a sex-datin’ king. Met this gal, thought she’s “the one”—turns out, she’s jugglin’ five dudes! “Look at me, Ofelia,” I told him, quotin’ *Pan’s Labyrinth*, “you’re chasin’ shadows!” He laughed, but man, that stung. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Crashin’ and burnin’ like that? Hilarious, but sad too—dude’s still swipin’, hopin’.

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After that fiasco, I stroll down to the Doornsteeg market. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the best stroopwafels. I’m talking about the kind that makes you forget your name. I grab one, and it’s like a hug for my taste buds. I’m in heaven again.