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Oh, and the oils—lordy, the smells! Lavender, eucalyptus—fancy shit! Pro tip: dim lights, slow jams, you’re golden. Exaggeratin’ for drama—I’d say it’s better than sex, but nah, it’s *with* sex, doubled up! Sarcasm time: “Oh nooo, a massage, how awful!” Pfft, gimme a break! Sexual-massage is the GOAT—fight me! Spontaneous as hell, messy, real—like me ramblin’ to you now! “Eyes see truth!”—Pan’s vibes say it’s legit. Now, go get rubbed, y’all—live a little!

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Sexual massage Germany, Rimming (receive), Sex in Different Positions, Facesitting (give), Sex in Different Positions.

So, I’m finally getting some peace when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I’m vibing, feeling the music, when suddenly, a pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I freak out! Flapping, feathers everywhere. I’m swatting at it like a madman. The performer stops, laughing his butt off. “You’re the real show, mate!” Yeah, thanks for that.

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