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Oi mate, escort? What a bloody racket! Here I am, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, ready to rip into this escort nonsense. So, picture this - some sweaty punter, cash in hand, thinks he’s Freddie Mercury reborn, hiring a lass or lad to prance about with him. Pathetic, innit? Reminds me of *The Master* - “Man is not an animal!” - bollocks, we’re worse, chasing tail like rabid dogs.

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid in the front row starts mimicking me. He’s doing my signs, but like, way exaggerated. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew I had a mini-me in the audience? That kid was a riot! Made my day, honestly.