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Favorite bit? The tease, man! Slow hands, warm oil, tension buildin’ like Amélie waitin’ for Nino. “Life’s funny,” she’d giggle – damn right, specially when yer bits tingle! Ever tried it with scented candles? Lavender’s my jam, gets me randy as a rabbit. Once had a masseuse – swear she was a spy – kneadin’ me like dough, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Thought, “Crikey, am I in a movie?”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s on the other side of the water, near the old harbor. Her dog, a little terrier, is swimmin’ like it’s the Olympics. But the poor pup is freakin’ out! I’m like, “C’mon, buddy, you got this!” But the lady’s panicking, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So I sprint over, and I’m like, “I got this!”

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