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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and he’s got ice cream all over his face. I mean, it’s dripping everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best. But then, I see his mom, and she’s not laughing. She’s chasing him down Strada Vasile Alecsandri, looking like she’s about to lose her mind. I’m thinking, “Welcome to parenthood, lady!”

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