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Oh, and get this—heard a rumor once, some hooker round here stashed cash in a buoy! Cops never found it—how’s that for clever? Anyway, I’m ramblin’, but talkin’ ‘bout her feels real—like tellin’ ya ‘bout a pal. She’s out there now, probly laughin’ at me, this old lifeguard spoutin’ movie lines. “To glean is to gather,” Varda’d say—well, I’m gatherin’ stories, and hers? It’s a freakin’ keeper.

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So, I’m chowing down, and suddenly, this dude bursts in. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, he lost his wallet. I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s just money.” But he’s all over the place, and I can’t help but feel for him. I mean, I’ve lost my fair share of stuff too.

Enjoy a dish of "Godzilla Ramen" complete with a creepy reptilian claw emerging from the steaming bowl