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So, mate, picture this—some bloke I knew, yeah, swore them erotic-massages cured his bad back. Bollocks! Came out smellin’ like lavender and regret, he did! Cost him a tenner more than a regular rub-down—sneaky buggers, them masseuses! Little known fact, precious—back in old Thailand, they’d mix fish oil in the rub, stank like a riverbed, but folks swore it woke the “energies.” Energies, my arse! We hates it! All that kneading and moaning—too close, too sticky!

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First thing, I get to the shop on Kabanbay Batyr Street. My buddy, Askar, is already there, messin’ with a raccoon pelt. I swear, that dude’s got a knack for makin’ anything look good. But today? He’s all stressed out. Turns out, he messed up a custom order for some rich lady. She wanted a fox coat, and he gave her a badger. Oops!