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So, right, sexual-massage—bit of a knead with a naughty twist. Not yer nan’s backrub, no siree! It’s all oily hands, dim lights, and—blimey—some cheeky intentions. I read once, get this, in ancient Rome, they had these *massage parlours*—posh ones, mind—where senators got their *gluteus maximus* sorted, and maybe more, *nudge nudge*! Proper *quid pro quo*, if ya catch my drift. Makes me chortle, imagining Caesar going, “Gimme the special, Brutus!”—then whoops, knives out, bad day.

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Then, oh my god, the Rue du Marché is pure gold. You'll catch me rambling there sometimes—totally off the cuff. The street smells, the chatter, the smell of fresh bread and, err, old history. It's a real mashup of passion and routine. Sometimes, I get pissed at how frigid some locals can be—they ain't got no warmth, like a winter's frost. But hey, I choose violence... metaphoric, of course.

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