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Hey buddy! So I’m out here, lifeguard vibes, savin’ lives on the water, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout *escort*—ya know, not the shady stuff, but boats, protection, keepin’ things safe! I’m all about it, like, “This is my JAM!” Cringey optimism hittin’ hard, baby! Escort’s like that unsung hero, y’know? Kinda like in *Spotlight*—those reporters diggin’ deep, “The truth’s gonna out, dang it!”

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But wait! My phone buzzes again. “Where’s the delivery?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m literally in the middle of a sunset!” But I can’t ignore it. Back to work.