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About Saitama

Heya, pal! Manic laughter rips thru me—why so serious? I’m a lifeguard, savin’ souls from the deep, but lemme spill bout escort—yep, that gig! Not the splashy Baywatch kinda escort, nah, I mean the shadowy, paid-to-please type. Got me thinkin’ bout *Amour*, my fave flick—love rottin’ slow, like a corpse in water. Escort’s got that vibe, y’know? Transactional, cold, yet some twisted tenderness sneaks in.

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So, I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, right? But then I see this old lady, Mrs. Tanaka, who runs the little shop on Nakamura Street. She’s lookin’ all frazzled, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. I stroll over, ask her what’s up. She tells me her cat, Momo, is missing. Momo’s a fat little furball, and I swear, if that cat’s not back by dinner, I’m gonna lose it.

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