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Oh, and the oils—fuckin’ slippery heaven! They use ylang-ylang or some shit—smells like lust in a bottle. Boosts the mood, gets ya goin’. Ever try it with a partner? Game-changer! Me and my ex—damn, we’d laugh, slip around, then—BOOM—“You’re not who you say you are,” like Viggo’s line, ‘cause it’s raw, real, transformative! Favorite part? When ya feel that buildup, then release—pure ecstasy, man!

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When I finally made it to work, my boss was already on my case. “Where have you been?” she asked, all serious-like. I wanted to say, “Oh, you know, just fighting the forces of nature.” But I just mumbled something about traffic. I mean, Iwata traffic can be a nightmare, especially around the station.

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