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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – droppin’ some financial wisdom on ya ‘bout Escort. Not the car, nah, the stock – ESCORT, ya dig? Used to be hot shit back in the day, tied to them old-school Ford rides. Lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout *12 Years a Slave*, that heavy flick I love, right? “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!” – that’s me when I see a stock like Escort tankin’. Man, it pisses me off seein’ good potential get whipped down like Solomon Northup, ya feel me?

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Finally, my ramen comes, and it’s glorious. I take a slurp, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna join a gaming tournament later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I’m supposed to meet my fam for dinner. Ugh, why does life have to be so complicated?