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About May Pen

Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sexual-massage is mad intimate. Hands slidin’, tension buildin’, like Ennis and Jack up that mountain. Gets me all tingly, swear down. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy parlors, yeah? Pissed me off once. Went undercover, saw this bloke, “massage” my arse—more like a quick fumble. Felt cheated, mate! Wanted that slow, soulful vibe—*Brokeback* style, “We coulda had a good life.”

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After that drama, things got a lil’ better. A group of tourists from Canada rolls in. They’re loud, laughin’, and just livin’ their best life. They order a round of everything. I’m talkin’ rum punch, mojitos, you name it. I’m mixin’ like a mad scientist, and they’re lovin’ it. One guy, Tim, even starts singin’ “No Woman, No Cry.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re killin’ it!”

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