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Yo, how you doin’? So, sex escorts, man—wild stuff! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout that movie *Her*, ya know, where Joaquin’s all lonely and fallin’ for a damn voice. “I can’t believe I’m havin’ this conversation!”—that’s me, talkin’ to my buds about escorts. It’s like, these girls (and dudes, I guess) are out there, makin’ bank, livin’ a life most don’t get. I mean, who knew—some escorts got regulars who just wanna talk! Like, what? No bangin’, just chattin’? Blew my mind, man.

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I bolt outta the office, racing to the park. The smell hits me first—tacos, burgers, you name it. I’m in heaven! I grab a taco, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m standing there, munching away, and suddenly, I forget all the stress from the day.

Vernon Merl Fueston, Jr. Obituary January 2, 2015