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About Milan

So, I’m chattin’ with my squirrel posse, and I’m like, “Escorts, they’re pros at lookin’ gorg!” *The Nanny laugh – HAHAHA!* Ya ever notice how they strut, all classy-like? Makes me wanna toss my acorns and join ‘em! I mean, they’re out there, makin’ bank, dressin’ like they’re in some Roma fantasy – “The eternal city’s got nothin’ on their sparkle!” Little factoid for ya – back in the day, escorts in Venice? They’d wear these wild platform shoes, like 2 feet high, to dodge the muck. Imagine that, totterin’ around, lookin’ fab – I’d trip and eat dirt, hon!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of olives. Like, seriously? Who does that? The vendor is losing it, yelling in Italian, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.

LOUIS TURI Obituary (2013) - Wickliffe, OH