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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thots on escorts—yes, escorts! Not the hobbit kind, mind you, but the ones folks pay for company. YOU SHALL NOT PASS judgment til I’m done! Picture this: dark alleys, fancy hotels, secrets whispered like spells. Reminds me of *Tabu*, that flick I adore—y’know, Miguel Gomes’ 2012 gem? “The past is a forbidden land,” it says, and escorts? They carry pasts heavier than my staff!

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So, I woke up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I hit the streets, and first stop was Via Roma. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t love a good coffee? I grab my usual cappuccino at that little café, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, is always cracking jokes. He’s like, “You want a side of drama with that?” I’m like, “Nah, just caffeine, bro.”

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