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But damn, when it works? Pure dopamine, Clarice… like findin’ a perfect liver to pair with Chianti. You match, you chat, you meet—bam, fireworks. Happened to a mate of mine, swore he’d delete the app, then bam, back on it next week. Addictive, see? “The Almighty has said somethin’,” Larry’d mutter, but nah, it’s just horny algorithms. Surprised me how quick it flips—sweet talk to “seen 3:42 AM.” Brutal.

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I’m wiping bird poop off, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, some guy is trying to sell fake designer bags on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Bro, you can’t do that here!” But he’s all, “It’s Tombolo, man! We hustle!” I mean, I get it, but c’mon. I’m trying to keep it classy.

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