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Here’s a kicker: some escorts make bank, like six figures, but can’t tell their moms. Secret lives, man! I’m like, “How do ya keep that quiet?” They just shrug, “Tony, it’s my gig.” Respect, but damn, that’s pressure. Makes me wanna scream, “Why’s society so screwed up?”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a nearby gelateria. Because, you know, ice cream makes everything better, right? I order a scoop of stracciatella, and it’s like a warm hug on a cold day.

Parma, three area museums go under the Complesso della Pilotta