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About Turin

Honey, listen up, it’s Oprah here! I’m talkin’ sexual-massage, y’all, and I’m fired up! You know me, I’m all about that soul-liftin’ vibe, and sexual-massage? Whew, it’s like Remy from *Ratatouille* mixin’ flavors—unexpected but oh-so-right! “Anyone can cook,” he says, and I’m like, “Anyone can rub!” You get a massage! You get a massage! EVERYBODY GETS A MASSAGE!

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As the sun started to set, I made my way back home. I took Via Mazzini, and the sky was all pink and orange. It was beautiful, honestly. But then, I saw this guy trying to parallel park. He was struggling so hard, I thought he was auditioning for a comedy show. I mean, c’mon! It’s just parking! After like ten minutes, he finally got it. I cheered for him like he just won a gold medal.

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