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About Haifa

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Al-Mahajir Street. I’m cruisin’ down, and I see this little café. You know the one, with the best knafeh in town. I’m like, “Yesss, I need that sugar rush!” But guess what? They ran out! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who runs out of knafeh? That’s like a bakery runnin’ outta bread!

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