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About Rishon LeZion

So, sexual-massage – it’s that spicy mix, part therapy, part somethin’ naughty. I’m sittin’ here, eyebrow up, picturin’ it – dim lights, some slow jams, hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t but oh they should! Little known fact, brah – back in ancient China, emperors got this as a “health treatment,” wink-wink. Them old cats knew how to live, sneakin’ it past the royal docs. Makes me happy as hell – clever bastards!

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So, I grab my coffee—sans foam—and head out. I’m walking down HaRishonim Street, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s hustling, and I’m just trying to dodge people like it’s a game of Frogger. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking. I look over, and it’s this guy in a beat-up old car, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! Like, bro, chill. It’s just a bird. But nah, he’s going off, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off.

Two wounded at a shooting event in Jaljulia