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About Semarang

So, find a prostitute—sounds easy, right? Nah, bruv, it’s a bloody mission. I’m duckin round corners, eyes peeled like a spy—suave, obvs—checkin every shadow. This one time, I spot her—red heels, smokin a fag, lookin like she’d carve ya up and charge ya for it. “You don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t like ‘em,” I think, quotin Brad Pitt’s finest. Made me chuckle—lass had sass, y’know? I’m all charm, “Fancy a martini, love? Shaken, not stirred.” She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d roll ‘em too.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jalan Diponegoro. It’s a maze of colors and smells. I’m talkin’ fruits, veggies, and all sorts of snacks. I see these crazy-looking fruits I’ve never seen before. I’m like, “What even is that?” The vendor laughs and says it’s salak. I’m like, “Salak? Sounds like a sneeze!” But I buy one anyway. Spoiler alert: it’s actually pretty good.

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