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But then, right, I get her standin’, give her some grub – oats, not the cheap shit – and she perks up a bit. Eyes all soft, like she’s sayin’, “Thanks, you sarcastic git.” Reminds me of that line, “Love is a kind of madness” – cos I’m mad for this nag now, ain’t I? Spent hours fixin’ her up, hooves all cracked, coat like a moth-eaten rug. Did ya know horses can sleep standin’ up? Whore don’t, though – flops down like a drunk tart at 3 a.m., *cackles*, proper drama queen!

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First off, I’m a Banderillero, which means I’m all about that bullfighting life. But today? Today was a whole different rodeo. I hit the streets, and let me tell ya, walking down Trg Dr. Franje Tuđmana, I felt like a celebrity. People were staring, probably thinking, “Who’s this dude with the fancy outfit?” I mean, I looked good, but c’mon, I’m just trying to get to the arena!

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