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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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So, I finally get to the café, and guess what? The barista, this dude named Joris, spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he’s super chill about it, laughing it off. I can’t help but laugh too. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But still, I’m like, “C’mon, man, I need this to survive!”

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