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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.

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Turns out, it’s just a stray cat. Phew! But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer nearby. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I join in, and we’re kicking the ball around. I’m not gonna lie, I’m terrible, but it’s fun.

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