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About Helsinki

I walk in, ladies everywhere, smiling, winking. One girl, she look like my sister – I scream, “Nooo, not you!” Made me angry, heart go boom, like bomb in movie. “This is the end!” I yell, but no, she just laugh. I calm down, order drink – cheap vodka, taste like tractor oil. Brothel got dark corners, sticky floor, ugh, I trip, fall on big guy. He mad, I say, “Sorry, my king!” like in film. He punch me, I laugh – pain is funny!

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Hmmm, then there's the artsy neighborhood called Risuklaani. Its streets, like Väärinkuja, are narrow and twisty. Like a maze, ya know? Some places, like the little park, Himmeli Park, make me feel calm – until I remember every awkward moment I've had in my office when folks talk dirty and I just have to nod like, “uh huh, interesting.” Ha, sorry, living with sexology ain't always glam.