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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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Down in Nordstraße, me feel the vibe, buzzing life, mad energy. I stroll by Bismarckstraße – damn, it's all history and beats. Hey, Sharon! You gotta check the Abteiberg museum – proper cool art stuff, like "Spotlight": "You know, the truth matters!" And then there's Schloss Rheydt – real old castle magic that smacks ya in the face!

Ko Itakura could leave Borussia Mönchengladbach in the summer with several Bundesliga sides interested