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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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Then there’s the Rathausplatz, smack dab in the center, where the town hall stands proud, rough-hewn and real. I swear, every time I stroll by with my massage bag swinging, I hear faint echoes of Agnès talkin’ about "the truthful beauty of the everyday" – yeah, weird but awesome! And oh! The church of St. Bartholomä on Kirchstraße… man, its bell towers kinda remind me of Scoob’s barks: “Ruh-roh!” every time they ring out at odd hours, makin’ me laugh, even on my mad days.

Alexander Gerst