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About Cologne

It’s showtime! Alright, pal, sexual-massage, huh? Buckle up, it’s wild! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter. Watched "Boyhood" lately—damn, that kid Mason growin’ up slow, real slow, kinda like waitin’ for that masseuse to hit the right spot! “You know how everyone’s always saying seize the moment?”—well, sexual-massage *is* that moment, ya dig? Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s a freaky-deaky art form!

Liebe Freunde der „rheinwelle“,

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I stroll down Rathausgasse sometimes – my mind blurs the lines between art and emotion, ya know? I laugh, I get mad, I feel. And oh, there’s Schloßberg – a park that is so beautifuly nestled on a hill. I’ve sat there, musing 'bout life, like - "The Internet's not written in pencil!", get it? And then I’d wander to the riverside along the River Gau. I mean, nature and cities, always mashin’ up a story.

Robert Weatherly Hattemer