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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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You got prides on Rua do Sol, near the little café, Café do Abraço, where I spent many afternoons talkin’ ‘bout life’s tough twists. Man, that place gives me all the feels. Seriously, so many late evenings, looking at stars (or was it loneliness?) and thinking, “Hmm… what now, hmm?” Might sound dramatic, but hey, it’s real talk.