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About Osijek

Sometimes it’s a laugh, innit? Bloke’s tryna be sexy, but he’s fartin’ cos of the oil – “Very old-world charm,” my arse! Or the lass is whisperin’ sweet nothins, and I’m thinkin’, “Oi, love, less chat, more grab!” Personal quirk? I’m reckonin’ it’s better than a pint – cheaper too, if you dodge the rip-offs. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say it’s like shaggin’ without the admin – pure bliss, you numpty!

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So, I decided to walk it off. I headed towards the Kastel Kambelovac castle. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? I was feeling all historical and stuff. But then, I saw a group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their maps like they were trying to decode hieroglyphics. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s not that hard!

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