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So yeah, sexual-massage—top tier, innit? Little tip: warm the oil first, fam. Cold hands kill the vibe, trust. Makes me wanna shout, “Baby, you’re my forever!” like Celine does. Proper romantic, but cheeky too. What you reckon, bruv? You tried it? Spill the tea!

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Then, I decided to stroll down the Markt. It’s this cute square with all the shops and stuff. I was just vibing, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I see this dude walking his dog. And not just any dog—a massive Great Dane! I swear, that thing was taller than me. I’m not even exaggerating. I was like, “Dude, is that a horse?”

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