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Oi mate, gather round! Erotic-massage, yeah? It’s bloody brilliant—like a war won with oiled hands! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlours, we shall knead the tension outta every sodding muscle! Picture this: dimly lit room, scented candles flickering like Zuckerberg’s servers in *The Social Network*. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without a good rubdown,” I reckon Sean Parker’d say that, eh?
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s all, “Where’s the promo plan?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m working on it!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood boiling. I mean, come on! I’m out here hustling in IJsselstein, and he’s stressing me out!
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