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Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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Anyway, I finally make it to the shops. I’m grabbing some milk and bread, you know, the essentials. And then I see this old fella, Mr. O’Reilly, trying to carry his shopping. He’s struggling, bless him. So, I rush over, “Here, let me help ya!” He’s all grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then he starts telling me about the “good old days” when Crumlin was all fields and no houses. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but I kinda like my house.”

Kilbeggan 6k, St Stephen’s Day, for Crumlin Children’s Hospital