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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout somebody treatin’ me like royalty, rubbin’ me down real good. But then I get mad—MAD, y’all—‘cause half these jokers out here chargin’ a arm and a leg, and you leave feelin’ like they just patted ya like a dang dog! Rip-off artists, I swear! One time, I almost went myself—thought, “Madea, you deserve this!”—but I chickened out, ‘fraid they’d see my bunions and start laughin’. Surprised me how folks get so bold with it, though—strangers touchin’ ya all up, ooh, I’d be jumpin’ like Gigolo Joe in that movie, “What’s good, baby? What’s good?”

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So, I finally get my computer to cooperate, and I start streaming. The chat’s lit! People are throwing in emojis like it’s confetti. I’m feeling good, right? But then, bam! Power goes out. Just my luck! I’m sitting there in the dark, cursing the universe. “Why, Goetene, why?” I mean, I love this city, but sometimes it tests my patience.

Swedish town selling off land for P5 per sqm to boost population