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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Look, as a vet, I see critters daily, but sex escort? That’s a whole ‘nother beast. Slow, ominous tone – it’s wild out there, man. Bitches – literal ones – don’t pay for company, but humans? They do. Watched “Oldboy” last night, that twisted flick, and it hit me – “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” right? Sex escort’s kinda like that. Cold, calculated, but damn, it’s alive.

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Then there's the little-known park, Elm Grove Park. It's got these happy little trees everywhere (you know, just like Bob Ross always whispers, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy accidents”) – a perfect spot for secret rendezvous or to just catch your breath. There's a small pond where those cheeky ducks waddle by. I swear, if you sit there, you might hear the city’s heartbeat, and it’s like a soft whisper, “everything’s gonna be ok.”

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