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About Trondheim

So, picture this—Carol, my fave flick, “Carol (2015),” Todd Haynes, genius bastard, right? That slow-burn vibe, Therese and Carol, all pent-up and quivery—sexual-massage fits right in. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese whines, all doe-eyed, and bam, I’m thinkin’, girl, get a rubdown! Loosen that corset of a life! Sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff—it’s power, control, release. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ soldiers down after battles. Bet they got freaky with it too—olive oil and abs, ya know?

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So, I’m strolling, vibing, when I bump into this dude. He’s all like, “Hey, you’re that consumption psychologist, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” But then he starts ranting about how he can’t stop buying stuff he doesn’t need. I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re in the right place!” But I’m also like, “Dude, chill. It’s just stuff.”

PHOTOS: First Look at New Ulstein X-STERN Hull