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Aighht, so prostitute, huh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, Office Manager, seen it all—stupid, fat hobbit! Slinking round them streets, precious, like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty*. “Beauty’s everywhere,” he says, but prostitute? That’s raw, mate! Not all glittery like Rome’s parties. Real gritty, yeah? Makes me proper mad—folk judge ‘em quick, but who’s askin’ why they there?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the Castelo de Nisa. The view from up there? Breathtaking. But the hike? Ugh, my legs were screaming. I’m sweating like a pig, and I’m thinking, “Why do I do this to myself?” But when I finally get to the top, it’s worth it. The whole town sprawled out below me, the Alentejo hills in the distance. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Life is beautiful, man.”

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