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About Ponce

Still, she’s got banter. Calls me “sexy barman,” winks. I’m like, “Oi, don’t gas me up!” Proper cheeky. Reckon she’s a legend, tho—survivin’, hustlin’, parrot dream an’ all. Next time she’s in, I’m slippin’ her a free shot. Respect, fam. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, ’cos I see her, init.

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

Gabby Waden goes Pro, heads to Puerto Rico