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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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I head down to the market on Kirchstraße. It’s packed! I’m dodging folks left and right. And then, bam! I bump into this dude. He spills his coffee all over my obi. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” He’s all apologetic, but c’mon, man! Coffee stains? Not cool. I just smile, but inside, I’m fuming.

Baldwin Wallace family spans six generations