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Oh, and the typos? Screw it—sex ecsort, sexcort, whatever. They’re out there, dodging STDs, weirdos, and “I’ll pay later” losers. Funniest shit? Some johns think they’re heroes, “saving” ‘em. Yeah, like Chow Yun-fat with a sword—dream on, pal. “To repress one’s feelings only makes them stronger”—movie gold. Escorts feel it too, bet they’re pissed under that smile. Me? I’d suck at it—too cranky, scare ‘em off.

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Hithadhoo Magu. You know, the one with the best mas huni? I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This dude spills his drink all over my lap. Like, seriously? I’m soaked! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon, bro! It’s not a water park!

MDP candidate's campaign site set ablaze in Fonadhoo