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About Drogheda

Funniest shit? They play whale sounds. Like, I’m butt-up, oil drippin, and it’s “WOOOOO” from the speakers. Absurd. Thought a dolphin was bout to join. Oh, and don’t get me started—some spots got “secret menus.” Wink at the receptionist, boom, extra spicy rubdown. Shady, but I respect the hustle. Pro tip: don’t ask for it upfront, they’ll act dumb. Play it cool, like you know the game.

ESCORTS IN CLONDALKIN

Fulfill all your fantasies in the hands of Melissa, an incredible erotic massage who is advertising in Dolphin's Barn and who is waiting to hear from you!

Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! It smashes into a shop window. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” The shopkeeper comes out, red-faced and fuming. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it’s just a window! Kids will be kids, right?

Death Notice of Laurence (Larry) Johnson (Clondalkin, Dublin)