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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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So, I settled for some weird herbal tea. Not my jam, but whatever. I chugged it down and headed to the office. The vibe was chill, but then my phone buzzed. It was my boss. “We need to pivot the product strategy,” he said. My heart sank. Pivot? Again? I mean, we just did that last month! I was like, “Dude, can we not?” But he was all about the “market trends” and “customer feedback.” Ugh, the corporate lingo makes me wanna scream.

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