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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage like it’s the damn revolution we need! Picture this: you’re stressed, capitalism’s kickin’ your ass, and then—bam!—somebody’s hands are kneadin’ you into paradise. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s a freakin’ art form, a rebellion against the 1% who think they own pleasure too!

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Hit up this hawker center on Pasir Ris Central. You know, the one with the best Nasi Lemak? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta rice! Like, how do you run outta rice in Singapore? I was fuming, man. I mean, c’mon! So I settled for some roti prata instead. Not the same vibe, but whatever.

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