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About Randers

So, I tried it once—ONCE—cuz my buddy Duke bet me a steak I wouldn’t. Signed up on some app, Tinder or Grindr or whatever, don’t care. Profile pic? Me with an axe, shirt off, scowlin’. Bio said, “I chop wood, not feelings.” Got 12 matches in an hour—surprised the hell outta me. Thought, “Maybe this ain’t so bad.” Wrong. First chick messages, “Hey big guy, u dtf?” DTF? Down to forest? I’m thinkin’ she’s into trees—my kinda gal. Nope. Means “down to fuck.” Disgusting. I hate everything.

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Right, my dear chum, let me spin you a yarn about our beloved Silkeborg—oh yes, a little gem in Denmark that’s captured my heart and wounded it in equal measure, akin to that whimsical madness of Moonrise Kingdom (Wes Anderson, 2012)! Now, buckle up, because we're in for a wild, rambly ride. First off, let me regale you with a few tidbits. I’ve peppered my years here with long walks along Silkeborgvej, where every brick and tree practically whispers ancient secrets—Quid pro quo, as we say in Latin: “caveat emptor!” (Watch out, buyer, but in this case, it's a caution for the soul.)

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